


the hardest goodbye yet

by inlovewithimpossibility



Series: Snapshots [20]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Future Fic, Parent/Child Separation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 04:31:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17780603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inlovewithimpossibility/pseuds/inlovewithimpossibility
Summary: The knock on the door makes them both jump and Felicity’s heart pangs as Mia responds immediately, crawling underneath the desk. The little girl curls up as small as she can, closing her eyes and covering her ears with her tiny hands.This is why she has to let Mia go.No five-year-old should know what Mia does.(Felicity makes her hardest decision yet and sends Mia away.)





	the hardest goodbye yet

This isn’t the life she wanted.

To raise her baby girl in essentially a nuclear bunker, to be completely separated from her son, to have lost her husband when their angel was still so tiny.

This was never what she wanted.

And now… to have to send her last remaining piece of her family away. To have to say goodbye to her little star the way she said goodbye to her son, the way she was forced to bid her husband farewell… it’s more than she can take.

Mia, all 3 and a half ft and 40 pounds, her perfect angel, her saving grace, the one last trace of her husband and her old life.

Her one last trace of happiness.

“Mama?”

Felicity jumps at the sound of her baby’s voice, turning to see Mia stood by her chair. She’s frowning inquisitively and her head is tilted slightly to the side. She’s always thought Mia was the perfect combination of her and Oliver and she can see them both in her expression now. The slight, almost invisible clench of her jaw makes Felicity want to sob.

“I thought you were watching a movie.” Felicity smiles, collecting herself quickly and opening her arms. Mia immediately smiles and crawls into her lap, curling herself into her mother’s body. Her tiny blonde head lays against Felicity’s shoulder and Felicity can’t help but bury her nose in her curls, wanting to commit the smell of her baby to memory.

“It ended,” Mia answers her question as Felicity squeezes her eyes to stop herself from crying as she holds Mia as tightly as she can. “Mary Poppins went away again, Mama, why does she always do that? She came back after the first time, why couldn’t she just stay the second?”

Mia is smart, ridiculously so.

She’s got a way of sussing people out that Felicity cannot even imagine. She can tell a person’s character from the get-go, even with their best masks up.

So much like her father.

“Well, baby…” Felicity starts slowly, swallowing back the tears. “She had to leave the Banks’. She has to go and help other people and make all of their lives better. But just because she’s not with them all the time, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love them. They know that when they need her, she’ll be there and that’s what family means, really. Deep down. Your family, whether they’re your blood or not, are the people who you can rely on, no matter what. The people that will always be there when you need them and will always love you, no matter how far away they are. Do you understand?”

Felicity runs her fingers through Mia’s hair, hoping her baby doesn’t notice the tears slowly running down her cheeks.

This is truly the hardest thing she’s ever had to do.

“I think so.” Mia frowns and Felicity quickly wipes her tears away when she looks up at her. She’s not so lucky, however. Mia is her daddy’s daughter through and through and nothing gets by her. “Are you upset Mama?”

Felicity smiles softly, adjusting Mia on her lap so that she can look at her properly. “I just want you to know, no matter what, even if we’re not together, that I love you more than the entire multiverse and everything I do is to protect you, okay?”

“I love you too Mama.” Mia smiles and wraps her little arms around her neck.

Felicity sighs a little, knowing that Mia’s too young to fully understand what she’s saying right now. She just hopes someday she will.

“Are you upset because you were thinking about Daddy?” Mia asks her suddenly and Felicity frowns, her hand rubbing soothingly over Mia’s back.

They hadn’t been talking about Oliver. It’s rare for Mia to be the one to bring him into a conversation, she barely even met the man and even though she loves him, it’s more the idea of him and his image that she loves.

It breaks Felicity’s heart that her baby knows her daddy as pictures on the wall and a tombstone.  

“Were _you_ thinking about Daddy, baby?” Felicity asks softly, watching as Mia’s face grows pensive and she nods her head a little shyly. “That’s okay baby, you’re allowed to miss him.”

“In the movie, their mama’s gone away and it made me think about how my daddy’s gone away too. They sang a song about it and it made me feel better, I think. Mary Poppins says that nothing’s gone forever and that their mama’s just in a different place now. Do you think that’s true about Daddy too?” Mia asks, sitting back a little to look in Felicity’s eyes and tilt her head in that same way she was doing earlier.

Felicity takes a deep breath, smiling softly as she brushes her hand softly over Mia’s cheek.

Mia thinks deeply about things, Felicity knows that comes with being so smart, but her pensiveness is definitely inherited from Oliver. As much as she thinks things through, she often keeps her emotions close to her chest. She’s as easy to read as her father but getting her to talk, that’s often the stickler.

“I think it’s true. You know your daddy loves you more than anything as well, right?” Mia nods and Felicity smiles. “He didn’t want to go, baby, but he had to because he’s a hero and that’s what heroes do. I see so much of him in you. You, my love, are our little miracle, our star lighting up the dark, and I promise you that when all of this is over, we are going to find your brother and we are going to be together again, okay?”

“Okay, Mama.”

Felicity’s can’t stop the tears pouring down her cheeks as she pulls Mia in for another hug. Her arms wrap as tightly as they can around her little miracle, trying to commit everything about her to memory. She has no idea how long it will take for it to be safe enough for her and Mia to be together again and she needs to know that her baby girl understands just how much she loves her.

The knock on the door makes them both jump and Felicity’s heart pangs as Mia responds immediately, crawling underneath the desk. The little girl curls up as small as she can, closing her eyes and covering her ears with her tiny hands.

This is why she has to let Mia go.

No five-year-old should know what Mia does.

“John Diggle and John Diggle Junior are at the front door.”

Felicity breathes out a sigh of relief, reaching her hand out to Mia who immediately goes to her, curling up against her side.

“It’s okay, Mama?” She asks and Felicity smiles, leading her over to the door.

“Yeah baby, it’s just Uncle John and JJ.” She reveals and smiles as Mia perks up a little.

“Uncle John!” Mia grins as the door opens but perceptive as ever, she takes in her uncle’s forlorn expression and looks between her mother, uncle, and cousin with a confused look.

JJ has a backpack strapped onto his back, taller than Felicity could have ever imagined him at ten years old. He regards Mia with a sympathetic expression and Felicity immediately knows that he’s already been looped in.

“What’s going on?” Mia asks as they enter the apartment, the door shutting with a safe click behind them.

Felicity takes a deep breath and walks over to where she’s set Mia’s bag and backpack as well as her coat.

“Are we going somewhere?” The little girl asks and Felicity approaches her with the items. JJ takes the bag from her and Felicity smiles at him. Forever the gentleman, just like his father.

“You are, baby,” Felicity reveals as she kneels down in front of her daughter. She pulls Mia’s coat around her and the child frowns but threads her arms through the sleeves, letting her mother zip it up to her neck. “You’re going to go with Uncle John and JJ whilst I do something that I have to do here.”

Felicity tries to swallow past the lump in her throat but she can’t and the tears well up in her eyes as she pulls Mia’s hair out from the coat.

“For how long, Mama?” Mia asks, threading her arms through her backpack when prompted and Felicity is grateful for how cooperative she’s being in this at least.

“I’m not too sure just yet baby but I will come and get you as _soon_ as I am done, okay?” She promises, the tears spilling over as Mia frowns and looks at her with confusion written all over her face.

“I don’t wanna go away from you, Mama,” Mia tells her and the tears in her baby’s eyes only make Felicity cry even more.

“I don’t want you to go either, sweetheart, but this is what we have to do. Remember what I said, when this is all over, I’m going to come and get you, we’ll get your brother and we’ll all be together again, okay?” She promises, trying not to wince at how close it sounds to the promise she made her other child six years ago.

“Okay.” Mia sniffs and Felicity takes a deep breath.

“Alright, baby, big brave girl faces, okay?” She smiles through her tears, wiping Mia’s from her cheeks, as she drinks in the sight of her little miracle. It’s blurry through her own tears and she reigns in a sob when Mia does as she’s told, nodding her head with a determination that Felicity can’t help but admire. “Good girl. Give me one last hug.”

Mia flies into her arms and Felicity takes deep breaths as she slides her hands under Mia’s backpack to hold her tight.  

“I love you so much, my little star. Don’t you ever forget that. Mama loves you so much.” She whispers into Mia’s ear, praying that these are not the last words she says to her baby.

“Felicity…” John’s voice is soft but there’s a stern nature to it and Felicity takes a deep breath, nodding her head as she pulls back from Mia.

“Be a good girl for Uncle John. Remember to wear your coat when it’s cold. I love you.” She smiles through her floods of tears, cupping Mia’s face in her hand.

Mia’s crying fully now too and Felicity wipes them away with her thumb, leaning forward and pressing one long kiss to her baby’s forehead. She thinks of how the feeling of Oliver’s lips against the same spot kept her going when he left to fight Ra’s Al Ghul all those years ago and she prays her kiss can have the same effect on her angel.

“I love you, Mama.” Mia sniffles and Felicity smiles, rubbing her thumb over her soft cheek.

“Alright baby girl, come here,” John speaks softly, lifting Mia into his arms. The little girl goes easily, though happily is certainly not the right word. Felicity stands, wiping her cheeks before tucking Mia’s hair behind her ears so it’s not in her face. John catches her eye, looking at her with the same promise in his eyes that he had all those years ago when she first joined the team. “With my life.”

His words are the promise that she needs to hear and Felicity nods, smiling softly at her friend.

“There’s no one else I trust more.” She replies and John smiles, holding Mia easily with one arm as he reaches out to grasp her hand. He squeezes it tightly and sets her with a look she’s seen on his face a thousand times.

“You look after yourself, okay? I don’t want to hear that you’ve been spending 22 hours of the day at your computer.” He tells her sternly and Felicity nods her head.

“I’ve got this.”

“Oh, I know you do.” John smiles and it makes Felicity feel a little better. “Okay, we really need to go now.”

“Mama?” Mia asks and Felicity steps forward in an instant, smothering her in kisses and protectively cradling the back of her head.

“Our little miracle, my little star.” She whispers to her, the words that have become synonymous with ‘I love you’ over the years and finally, with the hardest step she’s ever taken in her life, Felicity steps back.

JJ hugs her around the waist and Felicity clasps him tightly, her tears falling into his hair before he moves towards the door first after a nod of permission from his father. John steps forward to kiss her on the forehead before he too takes a step towards the door.

Mia’s eyes lock on Felicity’s as he moves down the corridor and further and further away from her. Felicity’s voice catches in her throat and all she can do is stare until they round the corner.

Mia’s eyes are gone from her sight and she stumbles back a little, completely unaware of her own actions. The door clicks closed and finally, she falls to her knees.

A harrowing scream sounds around the room as she finally allows herself to succumb to her cries.

Everything has been taken from her.

Her husband.

Her son.

Her baby girl.

Tomorrow, she’ll find a way to stop them and make them pay but for now, she cries for her family and the love she’s been forced to say goodbye to.


End file.
